Producer on a Plane

This morning I woke up with a disturbing revelation. All of these people I’ve met from the script writer to the trucking company woman have all led to nowhere. I found out after much dialogue that they were much like me – carrying aspirations to do something in the film industry but they had never actually taken a project pass the finish line. What we don’t have in common is that I only aspire to tell God’s story – whatever that ends up being.

On my last flight from Atlanta to LA a man in 1C I noticed had a crown next to his name in our system. This means he’s a celebrity of some sort; a VIP customer. As we were deplaning I asked him what he did and he told me he was an actor and a producer. He said he had recently produced a biblical Netflix show called Ruth and Boaz. I spoke to him briefly about his success and as I complimented him on being “obedient” to what God put on his heart, his eyes lit up like I’d sparked a nerve in his soul. Then he extended his hand to me and said, “My name is Devon and you are?” I answered, shook his hand and told him it was a pleasure meeting him. I later learned that he was also the producer of Heaven is Real and many other faith based movies that I love so much.

So I finally crossed paths with the real deal – a REAL producer who has the heart for faith based films and the power to do something with my book. And all I did was chit chat and shake his hand? Have I lost my mind? A better question is, “Have I lost my faith in what I thought God sent me here to do?”

This was an unsettling revelation this morning in showing me how weary I have become. I spent all of my time and energy seeking miracles in the people God placed in my path that ended up going nowhere. And when he finally delivers the perfect person to pitch my book to I didn’t even think to do it. It’s as if I’ve already given up on the idea that my story of miracles should be a film or to even believe it was God’s seed for me in the first place.

As I laid in bed angry at myself I heard a voice of reassurance saying to me, “If it’s God’s will, you’ll see him again.” In this, I remembered the basketball player I met on a plane 2 years ago who I ran into again only 3 days later in a completely different part of the world. He was the guy who would drive my daughter from Texas to Florida a month later – definitely an angel on assignment in my life.

Meanwhile my domain for ScriptintheSky expired yesterday. And I did feel like yesterday there was a very heavy message for me to let the past go. Perhaps that story of all the miracles God did in 2016 isn’t the one he wants me to share with anyone. Maybe it’s time for me to let go of the past all together. Maybe this is where God is telling me to seek this day as the first day of a new story he’s writing in my life. Maybe this is where the woman in the sand looks up to find that all of those who threw stones at her have removed from her life and now only Jesus remains with his hand outstretched whispering, “Is there anyone left to condemn you?” And I whisper back, “No Lord.” And he replies, “Nor do I condone you daughter.” I always feel stuck on the part where he says, “sin no more.” What did she do? Was it because she was caught in adultery? Was he saying to her that she shouldn’t cheat on her husband again?

If I’m being honest, I don’t like being single because I feel like there’s a concern in all connections I make that I could be a temptation for a man or be tempted myself. I wish God would send me my person so I can be taken out of that dynamic completely. I felt more at ease in all things in life when I was grounded in marriage. And even if the marriage wasn’t great or the one God had for me, I still felt more secure and authentic in my dealings. The status of marriage game me a very powerful boundary in business. I’m bringing this up because in conversations with the trucking guy I have wondered if that’s a concern for him. Maybe it’s a silly thing for me to be worried about. I just don’t want to feel this void anymore. I wish I was stable with my person so that I was no longer looking, waiting or anticipating that God was bringing someone. It makes me look for it and I hate that I’m having those thoughts.

If God wanted me to be in a relationship right now I would be. So today I’m just wondering what I’m missing. I’m OK knowing he’s saying no to some things as long as I can see what he’s saying YES to. And I don’t think I should be praying “your will be done” as a plan to sit back and do nothing but wait on the Lord. I should be asking to see what God’s will is. I want to see it, align with it and know that I’m on the right path.

Heavenly Father please tell me what I should do. I need a home, a good job and direction. Please show me what I should do.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

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Not Going to Texas

My offer didn’t come over this morning as expected. Instead I received a call from the owner asking me to put together a plan to work on the company’s social media and marketing from a distance. I feel like I’m a piece of laundry in the dryer spin cycle. The moment I get my mind around something and prepare mentally for a big change, a curve ball is thrown in my direction that shifts everything and I sit here on my bed stunned.

God is the author and finisher of my faith and my story. But what is my story turning into? Each page is half-written as it suddenly gets an eraser applied and another plot twist is incoming. Is God asking me to get comfortable in the uncomfortable for the rest of my life? How can I ever live this way and be at peace? I’ve prayed for stability, a home, a job that gets me out of the clouds, a love of my life to walk with me and a pillow to lay my head down upon each night where I’m embraced by love and peace. Is God telling me that I’ll never have this? It’s heartbreaking and yet there’s a small voice within that challenges my own thoughts and says to me, “All things are working for your good – even this.”

If I recap the last few months, I had a major plot twist take place on June 2nd. My daughter and I prayed together over my son and he called me in the middle of the night from his car en route to LA from Houston. I thought I knew what God was doing. I thought my son was on his way to start a new beginning – a new chapter of his life with me here in LA. But at the end of August he went back to Houston on an airplane and never returned again until October; only to work a few days with the Orange County man enough to pay for his gas to get his car back to Texas. Angels watched over him that night. I prayed for him, lit a purple candle and immediately received a vision of violet rays spilling over his car as he pointed it south to return to his father.

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My daughter just called me. We talked for a long time about dark stuff; demonic activity and suppression in the music industry and as we just hung up the phone after praying together I was reminded of the song that came on the radio last night when I got into car. I just sent it to Kenna and to Jason too. As I’m typing this, the lyrics say, “With every breath that’s in me, with every song and melody – let it be a Hallelujah”… Maybe there’s power in that word that I don’t understand.

Can I sing Hallelujah in this chaos and uncertainty? Can I remember that my life and my every moment is meant to praise God? I’m to praise him in the pain, the hurt, the loneliness and in this journey through the unknown. I know I’m not doing good at it. I know I’ve complaining a lot and asking for him to change my circumstances. I’ve even been arguing with God that if he truly loved me he’d help me and fix everything broken. I’ve been telling him that I need proof that he’s still with me and he’s still working on the moving pieces in my life and I’ve argued with him that I don’t know how to believe he’s good when everything feels so bad. I’ve screamed at God, “If you really loved me you wouldn’t want me to work this job that’s destroying my body and my sleep, you’d not want me to have no friends, no financial stability and no one to hold my hand and love me at night.” I’ve argued why would you make me and send me to this earth just to be alone and have no function or purpose? Why would you put me in a family that hates me and no one even calls to say hello anymore? Why would you allow me to become bitter and sad like this if you loved me? Why would you allow me to lose everything that mattered to me, send me to California where I believed with the faith of a little child that you were bringing me here to find love and purpose only for me to be sent back to Egypt with a backpack full of hard lessons? Why would you not guard my heart in falling for Dave if he doesn’t love me or want me to be his partner and his woman and wife?

Well, God blocked me from going back to Houston today. And I’m begging him today to show me why. As I do everyday, I’m begging him to show me what’s here for me and what role I’m to play in this place when the soul inside of me is screaming, “I want to tell his story.” That’s what I want. I want to speak to people like me who feel like all hope is lost and they are a mistake – people who don’t see why they even exist in a place where they’re deemed “unlovable” by others and what hope can they hold onto when everything inside of them only sifts through ashes and ruin. I want to be the voice that says, “Just hold on, God’s not finished yet.” But I hear those people and they don’t move me. They’re like talking cymbals with no substance. I want proof. I want to see the person standing in front of me with bloodied knees, covered in scars and standing on the mountain showing us all, “He did a miracle in my life. He brought me out of the darkness and he gave me love greater than I’ve ever had before and he repaid me everything the enemy stole from me.” I want that person to tell me that I have a reason to hope again and to keep waking up and to see that all things are happening for my good and God’s glory.

So here I am… I’m here Lord begging you to do something with me. Make my suffering matter for something. Make every tear I’ve cried matter for something. Make every word I’ve spilled into endless notebooks – praying, seeking, asking and hoping for redemption be a turning of the page in your masterplan where the girl who never stopped speaking to the Heavens eventually got her wish. Make me believe that you have heard my prayers and that you are the Good Father of Lights in the Heavens who opens up the skies and the floodgates and pours out blessings upon the broken hearted.

Holy Spirit wash over me. Do something – my strength is so weak. I’m confused. I followed everything I thought God was telling me to follow, I walked through every open door, I prayerfully sought guidance and I professed every single day, “Not my will but your will be done.” I’ve begged you to not lead me into temptation and only God knows I cried my entire drive home last night terrified that if I moved back to Houston I’d go back into the Egypt that almost took my life with an ex-husband that would somehow sink me again. I’m terrified of going back to that prison and yet I wish to know that my son and my dog and the love that is still dear to me isn’t going to slip away from me too.

I’m terrified that God’s mad at me because the only sense of joy and peace I ever fill is in the arms of a man who doesn’t love me and doesn’t value me on the outside and I don’t know how to sit here empty day upon day thirsty and all I ever seem to be offered is vinegar to my lips.

I look at the lamp I created from ashes and burnt wood in the Malibu fires and I see myself. There’s nothing left of me other than a few pieces of limbs covered in ash and yet this little light points her burnt, ash covered finger to the heavens.

Lord I’m exhausted with trying to figure everything out. I’m exhausted with fighting myself and my desires and my fears and my worry and my inability to see what to do tomorrow or even what to do in the next 5 minutes. I sit here and type int a keyboard, terrified that if I stop letting these words flow out of me I’ll have to sit here in the silence and deal with myself.

I’m tired of running away from you Jesus. I lay here and ask you to deal with me. Love me, heal me, wash me clean, forgive me, sanctify me, kill me, destroy me, throw me in a grave or cast me out into the streets as a homeless woman who has no place in this world but to sift through the trash for crumbs fallen from another’s table – do whatever you want to me because I’m yours anyway. You made me. If you want to destroy me what can I possibly do to save myself? Or if you want to make me new and give me a future, then you can do that too. I’m yours. So do what you want. I beg you to be merciful but I know at the end of the day it’s not up to me. I’m just the clay. You’re the potter.

I give up God.

October 28, 2025. 12:27 p.m.

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Texas Job Talk

Skyla laid down in the hotel bed with a mind spinning through thoughts of the 24 hours that stood before her. Tomorrow, Monday the trucking guy from Texas had promised to call her. He would want an answer from her; would she be willing to come to Texas and commit to him long term. She could not speak with her mouth a promise that wasn’t hers to give. She had promised God that she would turn over her life to the new chapter he had for her. And she had foreseen a proposal that would appear in this season with a script that her soul would recognize; two voices speaking as one and two hearts completely knitted together in one vision and one goal. It was the path made straight with no more detours or crooked roads.

She had watched her son come and go over the last several months and only last week he made his final departure from California in a 24 hour drive back to Texas. His car back home with his Dad had placed a finality over the decision he had made which pierced Skyla’s heart. And yet she accepted it because she had to. To pray “God’s will be done” every single day of her life was to believe that all things were working for her good and even the dreams she watched shattering before her and the visions that came and gone were all part of the process of letting go. She wanted the divine story that was scripted in Heaven and she knew that forcing her will or trying to control the people who came and left her life was a sure way to catch another detour she couldn’t afford to take.

So on this night she prayed again.

“God, you know my heart and you know the very reason you made me and sent me to this earth. You have the wisdom and the glory in all things you author in my life and I ask you to write tonight with the pen of the straight path. Let me not take anymore detours that delay the journey through the Wilderness to the promised land. I’m here Lord. I followed your voice the best I have known to. I ask you to speak loudly the voice of love to me now. I ask you to slam this door shut with Majestic if it’s not your perfect will and straight and narrow path for me. But if it is the path you have for me, I ask you to make it so bright, so gleaming with joy and acceptance and abundance that I can’t possibly pass it up. Make your will known to me Lord and do what only you can do. God I have asked you for a job that will align me with my purpose, bring me joy and love and laughter and fulfillment. I have asked you for a partnership with the person you wish for me to walk hand in hand with in purpose that fulfills a divine mission and I’ve asked you for a home where I can lay my head in peace each night. My journey has been long and exhausting and I’ve eaten the daily manna and I’ve struggled with doubt and I’ve been persecuted and despised and I’ve had many doors slammed in my face. Deliver me to my destiny Lord. As my Father who only gives good gifts from Heaven, I ask you to take full control of my life and give me the glory that’s not comparable to the suffering of my past. I lay this down at your feet tonight Lord and ask you to speak loudly to Jason too the will that you have for this exchange tomorrow. Let us lean not on our own understanding but submit to you in all of our ways and make October 27, 2025 the DAY THE LORD HAS MADE.

Do what only you can do God. You are the Lord of the my life, the author and finisher of my faith and my story and you hold the pen of the chapter you are writing today for me, your daughter. I lay at your feet and ask you to finish what you began in me – this seed of hope and desire for love. Lead me Lord. I don’t want to go before you. Speak loudly to me and counsel me as you open and close doors for me today.

In Jesus’ Name.

Amen.

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Don’t Drink the Vinegar

Tonight I saw 27 again – pictured on an image of a workout machine. It’s the crossroad I live at now and the bday of this woman and a number that pops up frequently wanting to tell me a message it seems.

I looked up it’s meaning in the bible and first read over the book of proverbs 27. Then I saw a connection to the crucifixion of Jesus with this number.

I heard in the Spirit, “When you’re thirsty don’t drink the vinegar. Wait upon the Lord.” And then I was shown there are many different types of fasting. It’s not just food that we need or long for. In fact, for me my hunger and thirst for so long now has been rooted in love. I want love returned. I want to feel covered in love and surrounded by love and I want love to penetrate my heart, soul, mind and body. But in the absence of that love, I’ve drank of many cups that seemed good but left me empty and worse off than I was before.

Perhaps this is the tale of Eve in the garden. She was tempted to eat of something that looked good on the outside but filled her with poison – such is the effects of counterfeit love.

In these moments I get anxious. I want to run away as fast as I can to a faraway land and live on a ranch in the wilderness surrounded by horses and puppies. The idea seems great and yet I was referred back to proverbs 27 again where it says not to boast in tomorrow. In dreaming of a plan to get where I think I want to be I again paint a picture that looks amazing in a picture or on a screen. But if that’s what would truly satisfy my soul I can’t say. God knows. I don’t.

I am where I am tonight – in a hot room in California wishing I could find a way out of something I can’t even define. I don’t belong here. But when I search my heart to find the compass within I only look out again in fear. I’m not sure where home is or could be. My heart has no guidance for me today.

Maybe the vinegar is that very thing – the desire that screams so loudly demanding to have its needs met, the mind has no choice but to search for an answer. But it doesn’t know the substance of what it perceives. On the outside, water and vinegar look the same. It’s not until we taste of it can we know what it truly is. Maybe this season is about doing taste testing as I’ve found myself embedded in a land of dreams – Hollywood. And behind all of the beautiful imagery I’ve kept in my thoughts likely since I was a child growing up on Disney movies, I learn that it’s not what I expected it to be. Like Dorothy seeking to find the Wizard of Oz only to learn that there is no great wizard, I’m here in a puddle of disappointment.

Today I did have one very beautiful revelation however; the weapon of prayer. Rather than to run, move, jump, consume and create based on the temptations of desire. Perhaps the power is in prayer alone. God if this is good for me, give it to me. I don’t want to eat what the serpant feeds me. I want to take it to God and say, “I was told this is good for me, what do you say about that?”

I want the promise – the real one. There is a love that would lay his life down for me. I don’t want to be filled with anything less than that. So I pray tonight for wisdom from God to know what’s not this thing and to turn away from the vinegar that poisons the very passion of pursuing a promise I seek from the Lord.

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Love

I know he loves me. Perhaps I’m sad that he may never find that again the way he had it with me. When he’s in trouble, I’ve been the first person he calls. After the storms. After the surgery. He knows I pray for him and I cry for him and I write him letters that I’ll never send to him. He made a lot of mistakes and he caused me more pain than I could ever record in a jumble of words on a computer screen. But when this story is dead and gone and the lifetime we have lived is buried and forgotten, will any of it matter?

I love another and perhaps I’ve loved many others in unique and different ways. I love animals, babies and strangers too. So why should I not be able to admit to myself that I love him and wish nothing but the best for him? Why should I not forbid my lips to speak a sour word over his name or his actions of the past? Is love in it’s most powerful form not called forgiveness?

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please clear my heart of any anger, sadness or expectation. For so long I’ve been waiting for something to change. I’ve been waiting for reconciliation and healing – I’ve been waiting for apologies that never came. I just want to let it all go and give it to you. I want to commend them all into the hands of you my Father and forgive them once and for all. I want to wake up feeling peace instead of the pull to fix something or brace myself for the next blow. I ask you to remove me from the prisons that attack my thoughts and attack my brothers and sisters.

Help me to once again see that every person is a child of you. Everyone is loved by you – everyone is gifted the blood of Jesus, everyone is redeemable and every single one of these is deserving of love because you said so regardless of what I have against them. And so I want to see everyone covered by your blood. Washed clean.

I don’t want to be angry anymore or fearful of what might happen. I want to speak the words of wisdom and say to myself, “let them….” with my eyes on the sky looking towards you to be my source of love to meet all of my needs and wants as my forever friend that walks with me even if no one ever does again.

Help me build a life where I can be your love and not look to anyone else to make me whole. Be the one to wake me up each day and remind me that you love me. Be the one who cares about my thoughts, feelings and experiences. Be the one who gives me advice and helps me sort through all that I don’t understand. Be the one who tucks me into bed each night with peace and comfort surrounding me and in me too. Jesus be my constant friend who never leaves me nor foresakes me and be the joy of my heart and the song in my voice. Let my life and my words and my body be the evidence of who you are then, today and forever more. Clean out all the stones and unspot me from the world. Make me white and holy as you are holy without anything of the evil one in me.

Thank you Lord.

In Jesus name… Amen

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Mars & the Eclipse

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This morning I was greeted by the woman at the hotel front desk as she asked, “Is your name Angel?” No, I answered – thinking nothing of it. I sat down in the lounge couch chairs next to two of my crew members and pulled out my phone to check flight information as the lobby speakers started playing the song, “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.” I felt my heart spark with the recognition of the familiar tune that was first introduced to me by David. It was a song I listened to often over the summer of 2022 after moving from Cali back to Texas. It’s as if the lyrics seemed to speak subliminally a story of his heart to mine in the spaces of unspoken separation and impossible connection.

Then loading up on the bus, the driver asked, “Are any of you named Angel?” He followed his question with a joke, “I told them that I’m the devil so I know the hand held device doesn’t belong to me.” Something about his remark struck a cord in me and prompted me to write it down. Two times the same phrase and then later in flight I heard it again in a message from a spiritual teacher who spoke about an “earth angel” who was surrounded by people who were perplexed and even jealous (not realizing such a thing) by the power within a certain person.

Moving on I watched other videos today about star alignments and the big new moon eclipse happening tonight. And the guy who sat next to me in the jumpseat kept making jokes about his name being “Mars”. Ironically that’s a big part of the planetary alignment and my sign is ruled by Mars. Then waiting to board the flight from Memphis through Atlanta onward to Cincinatti he sat next to me, looked me in the eyes and asked, “Do you feel the shift?” I smiled and said, “Yes, it’s good, right?” He smiled back and said, “Yes! It’s very very good.”

The funeral service of Charlie Kirk was held today and a public speaker told me on the phone a few minutes ago his thoughts about the evil of this event – saying that it’s spiritual and even the ones who commit the crimes realize it only after it’s too later. He made mention of the murderer appearing on film crying from prison. I hadn’t watched the news and knew nothing about it. However, this vision of what he was explaining certainly resonated with me. When something of this magnitude happens, the ones who believe begin to pray. And when people gather to light candles and pray, the Heavens pour out blessings upon the earth. Yes, there’s power in prayer and very bold power in numbers when we pray.

Tonight, i just want to pray and say thank you to God for answering our hearts. Thank you for turning the hearts of the children back to the father and thank you for the light that’s pouring out into the earth today. I ask for there to be more light and more love in the days to come. I ask for a revival of the likes this world has never seen. I pray for the lowly to be exalted and the proud to be taken down as your word says and as I’ve seen in many visions.

Thy kingdom come, they will be done. In the powerful name of Jesus – Yeshua…

Amen – Let it be done.

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Karmic Endings Trust God

Today I went to the beach and roller bladed down the boardwalk as I saw patterns before me. First 2 separate sets of women in pain over a break up. The homeless woman cried and screamed out “you motherf-er rapist son a…” The second woman wearing a brown dress like the one Julia Roberts had on at the horse outing was running full speed across the sand after a guy. She reached him screaming “Why did you leave me?” as he shrugged her off acting annoyed by her presence. Then I saw the win pick up as a bird heading out to sea turned around and took cover in a tree – followed by a man’s hat falling off of his head. I heard “hold onto your crown and don’t run against the wind.” This all was telling me to not fight what was happening right now and to let it go and let it flow. I also felt this was telling me to let people go who choose to go and I thought about David and Josh. They both wanted to go another direction and I can’t see it as a gift just yet but if God wanted them in my life they would be. So to think anything I’m losing is against God’s will is to not trust the divine paintbrush I founded this enter project on. I believe he’s the author of my story and I believe HIS will is the one I need to be aligned with. So…. Thy will be done.

I spent the next hour crying and journaling about this all with an emptiness and void inside begging God to please show me where to go next. I told him I let them go, I let them go, I let them go! But if they aren’t for me what is my purpose? What is my direction? Please show me the way!

I left the beach and took a suggested route in Google maps through Malibu that was supposed to save me time. However, I felt something was off from the very first turn into a thin road going upward and within 10 minutes realized I was not on a path often traveled. The steep slopes and twisting curves with no guard rails quickly had me on top of a very large mountain where the views were gorgeous but frightening as I wondered if the little car was sturdy enough to get me through alone. And then it happened,.. the sun hit my windshield at the perfect angel where the deep layer of sand and dirt completely blotted out my view just before reaching a sharp left turn. I held my breath and called out to God to help me. I couldn’t see a thing. When I was safe again, I found a place to pull over where I washed the windshield area on the drivers side. But I knew there was a reason for the detour – a deep spiritual one.

I’ve been climbing up a mountain for so long unsure of where I’m going or if I’ll make it home safely. I’m all alone on this journey and I can’t see what’s in front of me. I’m scared and often wonder if God still sees me and he’s still protecting me and guiding me. And he whispers “trust me”. This is when the spiritual eyes are made strong when our physical eyes can’t be of any help. I have to learn more and more to walk by the visions he gives me in trust that what he has shown me will come to pass. He has brought me here for a reason and he knows I’m tired and weary and sick of being alone on this uphill battle. He knows I’m surviving only each day by faith in him. And I’m waiting for the moment when I’m in a safe place and can pull over on the side of the road and be gifted my vision again to see what he’s doing all along – putting puzzle pieces into place. He takes some away that can’t fit anymore and in the moments where there’s a void it’s so hard. I feel naked and uncovered. But he is bringing other puzzle pieces that will fit perfectly.

One day soon I will be able to see it all. I will be amazed by his craftmanship. But tonight I only know God sent me, God goes with me and God is controlling all things for my good. I can’t see it yet but I trust him. I trust him. I trust him.

Tomorrow I lay over Tampa. Goodnight.

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Looking Up

I’m very grateful for the downloads I received in the Twilight this morning. I was shown that Tamera is somewhat of an angel, playing a role quite divine in my path. She’s like the big sister I never had and the mother of me and my son in ways I can’t yet speak of – but I see it in the sky. As a fairy god mother sent into the Cinderella story of a woman who lost her sense of self-worth.

We’re going to get a stair master today and I’m excited to start a new season of healing and renewal with her and my new soul tribe family. We’ll set up the basement room as a work-out gym on one side and the other side will be where my son sleeps. I’m going to put her on a work-out routine, teach her to dance hip-hop when she’s sculpting and transform her body into something magical. She’s a very beautiful woman and I’m so excited to see her at her best.

She doesn’t know this, but the pictures on the room she prepared for me look exactly like the walk I walked from the boardwalk to the beach in the 2 years of preparation to come here that I spent in South Florida. Also, I’m quite sure she’s the woman in the dream I had in March of 2016 that stood next to me reviewing a magical book. It was part 2 of a 3-part dream that showed me my son falling down in a race and refusing to get back up, then me and a woman reviewing a book together and the last part was a man on a black horse that fell off as everyone stood watching and taking pictures of his fall. I was the only one that went to help him. I don’t know who he is in that dream but I do believe that all of these prophecies are unfolding as they are designed to.

I will wear that red swimsuit she gave to me yesterday. I’ve seen it in another vision. I’m not sure what I was doing exactly or who I was with but there was a film crew there with us in that beautiful backyard with lush landscaping and water features surrounding the pool. I was happy. I was walking in joy and love. I was someone special in that place.

D just messaged me to comment on the red swimsuit, alerting me that today is Pam’s birthday. There are so many little reasons to see hope in the unfolding of the story my Father in Heaven has authored for me. And like a little girl on Christmas morning, I am learning to unwrap these little gifts with excitement for all that I receive, rather than trying to control or create gifts myself. All good gifts come down from Heaven, given by the Father of Lights.

I open my heart, my mind, my soul and my spirit to receive. Time to book a moving truck and get ready for a call with a company who publishes magazines about good news for neighborhoods.

July 1st, 7:31 a.m. PS – my dad went to Heaven on July 31st.

Photo: Wall picture that looks like the walk to the beach in Dania.

Songs: Life could be a dream & Life is worth living (Justin Bieber)

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Is This My Calling

Over the last few weeks, trying to settle into LA has. been a series of repeating the same mistakes I’ve been making since I first woke to remembrance of the buried book that was mysteriously mirroring my life. That’s when I first ran away from this rabbit hole of strange happenings into distractions and past versions of myself. I’ve been on marketing interviews, frantic shopping excursions for a used car with no resolve and I’ve tried to resurrect old business ideas with a mortgage guy from Orange County who manages a film festival he wanted me to help with. Meanwhile milestones of this journey come into my view like messages screaming at me to press forward in these videos and share the truth of my experiences.

Meanwhile my ex-husband back in Texas has been trying to drown me in his drama – calling with screaming in the background of he and my son fighting, threatening to kill eachother or themselves. I’ve talked with police, mental help facilities and family members with no resolutions. He demanded that I fly my son to live with me and for the first time in my adult life I don’t have a home to welcome him into. It’s a feeling of powerlessness and yet I wonder if that too is divinely orchestrated. I feel like there’s something important I’m meant to do right now and I wonder if this is it. Is this my calling?

From a hotel room in Boise Idaho I woke up at 7:17 a.m., unable to go back to sleep, flipped on the TV and saw a commercial featuring a film director. This reminded me of last week when Tamra sent me a submission request for faith-based stories that do not have divine intervention. I worked for 3 days on ideas to change my script from the published book of miracles from the hospital to take God out of the equation. And as if spirit was screaming at me, I’ve been flooded with memories and images popping up of past directives, such as making the sandboxes in 2018 – another season of waking up to a voice telling me instructions.

The sandbox was the most confusing message I’ve ever received from dreamstates – telling me to build something with NO reason. As I built it, I received more understanding. Based on the story of the woman caught in adultery from the Bible, I was shown that I needed to lay down my troubles at the feet of Jesus, who is called the author of life, of our faith and of our stories, who never wrote a single recorded word on a page. However, on that day, as the angry mob surrounded the woman screaming, “stone her,” Jesus bent down and wrote in the sand. When his hand touched the dirt he announced, “Whoever is without sin cast the first stone at her.” And then he bent down once more and wrote again with his finger. There the scriptures say that each heart was convicted of themselves and they left her one by one until she was alone with God. He asked, “Is there anyone left to condemn you?” “No,” she whispered. And he said to her, “Neither do I condemn you, now go in peace and sin no more.” I thought about this all day yesterday asking what he meant when he said, “Sin no more.” Then the answer came. When God rescues one from their troubles and saves her from the people and the place that covers her in shame, blame and heavy accusations, she is then commanded to not return to that place or those relationships that had discarded her and left her for dead. This was my confirmation to never go back to the situation in Texas where I almost died in 2019 of heart failure from the heavy burdens that had been placed on me alone.

The next commercial that aired on my screen was a Disney commercial for cruiselines featuring adults acting as children and believing in miracles and magic. That brought me to remembrance of my second season of listening to these directives from spirit when I spent an entire year after the pandemic creating hand made prayer candles. I used them in conjunction with the sandbox, writing my prayers in letters to God and then burning a candle in alignment with the scripture from the book of Revelation that reads, “And the prayers of the saints mixed with the smoke from the incense and was lifted by the hands of the angels up to the throne of God.” I believed this word – that my prayers were powerful when I spoke them aloud, then blew out the candle like a child making a wish over a birthday cake and then secured the letter inside of the sandbox to symbolize “casting my worries upon the Lord because he cares for me,” 1-Peter 5:7.

Looking back now on the period of my life between 2018 and 2021 as I spent all of my spare time making sandboxes, light signs of scriptures and prayer candles seems like foolishness when I consider that I’m grown woman with a mountain of troubles, no home of my own or even a car. I have no career to boast about or a love in my life to walk with me in this wilderness. And yet, I can’t shake the mystery rooted in a fantasy book I wrote 10 years ago – never read by a single eye that is so tightly connected to events in my real life. I have no choice but to wonder if childlike faith is alive and real even to mid-life women like me who had long ago given up on such fantasies and fables living in a world that often presents more darkness and sorrow than light and love.

I fly back to California tonight and have 3 days off – with plans to see David. I wrote him a letter yesterday to say goobye and keep it in my notepad. I cried through every word and still feel unsettled as if it’s not time yet. Then last night he sent me screenshots of his 2 hours spent in rigorous workouts. Dennis, the elderly psychic who called me last November told me that David’s soul still needed something from me and I needed to find out what it is. When I last saw David 3 weeks back, I couldn’t help but notice he had gained weight and looked worn-over and unhealthy. He doesn’t know that I know his mother passed in January. I found this out from an encounter with a woman who looks identical to his sister on her flight back to Austin. Angels speak to us in mysterious ways – oftentimes through strangers who spark similarities to our own situations and connections. I never recognized this until I became very open to the realm of souls who’ve passed over – not by own desire or will. This gift seem to find me after my stepdad passed in 2020. I seemingly have become some sort of conduit for loved ones who are still very much around. Anyway, perhaps this project in its own way, once revealed at a later date will be a seed of childlike belief for David too and maybe my role in his life at this moment is to give him incentive to find his new chapter after grieving a great loss and to find new life in a new season of perfect health in his mind and his body.

I was used by God to help a man come back to life and heal from a traumatic brain injury – a documented miracle that defies logic and science. Maybe I’m to be used again in this same way and I should embrace the gift God gives through my willingness to love these men in their seasons of struggling to love themselves. In my eyes he’s beautiful and perfect, and I’ll always see him as the man who walked into Aria carrying 8 bottles of Stella Black Rose wine in a black shirt with an aura of love in his countenance.

Perhaps life is a series of assignments and our role in it all is to leave each person a better version than we first found them. And I trust that everyone I encounter has a desire to be this for me too. I admit it’s not easy to trust anyone when I’ve been hurt so badly in the past. But if I truly believe the word of God, then I must believe that Love takes no record of wrongs and Love trusts ALL things.

As for the script submission request from the production company seeking a faith-based film that has no divine intervention or God in the story, such a concept is a lie for me. Christ revealed to me in 2016 that he was the conduit between heaven and earth who woke me from the dead as a 17 year old girl who committed suicide. He was the one who brought me to the Council where I saw chapters in the Book of Life and I believe he’s authoring my story today and giving me little breadcrumbs of what was and what is yet to come. To deny my own experiences would be a denial within my own soul. So, I say here and now to that Hollywood producer who seeks divine wisdom without credit to the divine, “No thank you.” There will be a day when the true Author, producer and director of all scripts we live in will be revealed to all and I will stand with the ones this world calls foolish and naive – the ones who still believe in the power of prayer, in miracles and in the spirit of love that we all hoped to find at one point in our journeys, before we were tainted by the weights of this world. I will produce my own film here, without a single viewer today. But if this is God’s will for this story to be known, then it will be at the appointed time with or without the help of a people in powerful positions.

Today I pray for the strength to press forward in this project of the Unscripted Script, for intense focus on the calling upon my life to keep making these videos and entries to track the process of my buried book as a prophecy of a woman who lost everything but today walks in faith towards a chapter that will restore and renew all that she ever had. And speaking of renewal, perhaps my next video will share the vision I was given before I left Florida of a future moment of my son’s life…. As the happy and fullfilled husband and father that he will become…

May 27th, 2025 – The unscripted script.. unravels…

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