Cali or Texas

I just returned from Florida in visiting my daughter for a few days. I had a call with Jason from Texas there on Wednesday and he once again brought up the idea of me moving back to Houston. I don’t want to say yes or no. I don’t want to control anything. But God knows if I could truly have what my heart desires, the man would offer me a great opportunity to stay here in California, Dave would show up on my doorstep with roses and apologize and confess his love for me and I’d know that I’m not crazy. That all of these dreams, visions and messages I’ve been chasing since 2019 are purposed and that my Angels were guiding me and my Heavenly Father was preparing me to receive new love and a new life with hope and a future.

But all I have tonight is silence and a “wait until Wednesday” message from Texas. I place my fate, my heart and my life in God’s hands and ask him to carry me where I’ll be ok. I ask him to restore my faith and let me be safe and loved somewhere on this earth again. He knows the future I don’t. He knows what’s best for me I don’t. He knows and I’ve tried so hard to hear him and to see his plans and I just don’t have an answer anymore.

This video was very hard to make. I can’t even watch it back without balling crying. I know it’s the voice of defeat and I don’t do this. I don’t give up. I don’t back down and I don’t quit on people I love or dreams I believe in. But Lord knows I’m exhausted. I don’t know what else to do other than throw my hands in the air and surrender. I need God to take over and do whatever HIS WILL is for my life now. I don’t want to fight anymore or run against the wind or try for anything that’s not meant to be in my life. I surrender. I surrender. I surrender. And I pray for a miracle in whatever way is my highest and best good now.

If this guy calls Wednesday and says I have to move to Texas in order to stop flying and have a home again then I’m going to Texas. So I’m praying for the Holy Spirit to protect my path and to BLOCK the offer if it’s not God’s will and to make it abundant and impossible to pass up if it is God’s will. And if God sends me back to Texas I have to know that the book of Skyla wasn’t his plan and I have to let all of this go.