Don’t Drink the Vinegar

Tonight I saw 27 again – pictured on an image of a workout machine. It’s the crossroad I live at now and the bday of this woman and a number that pops up frequently wanting to tell me a message it seems.

I looked up it’s meaning in the bible and first read over the book of proverbs 27. Then I saw a connection to the crucifixion of Jesus with this number.

I heard in the Spirit, “When you’re thirsty don’t drink the vinegar. Wait upon the Lord.” And then I was shown there are many different types of fasting. It’s not just food that we need or long for. In fact, for me my hunger and thirst for so long now has been rooted in love. I want love returned. I want to feel covered in love and surrounded by love and I want love to penetrate my heart, soul, mind and body. But in the absence of that love, I’ve drank of many cups that seemed good but left me empty and worse off than I was before.

Perhaps this is the tale of Eve in the garden. She was tempted to eat of something that looked good on the outside but filled her with poison – such is the effects of counterfeit love.

In these moments I get anxious. I want to run away as fast as I can to a faraway land and live on a ranch in the wilderness surrounded by horses and puppies. The idea seems great and yet I was referred back to proverbs 27 again where it says not to boast in tomorrow. In dreaming of a plan to get where I think I want to be I again paint a picture that looks amazing in a picture or on a screen. But if that’s what would truly satisfy my soul I can’t say. God knows. I don’t.

I am where I am tonight – in a hot room in California wishing I could find a way out of something I can’t even define. I don’t belong here. But when I search my heart to find the compass within I only look out again in fear. I’m not sure where home is or could be. My heart has no guidance for me today.

Maybe the vinegar is that very thing – the desire that screams so loudly demanding to have its needs met, the mind has no choice but to search for an answer. But it doesn’t know the substance of what it perceives. On the outside, water and vinegar look the same. It’s not until we taste of it can we know what it truly is. Maybe this season is about doing taste testing as I’ve found myself embedded in a land of dreams – Hollywood. And behind all of the beautiful imagery I’ve kept in my thoughts likely since I was a child growing up on Disney movies, I learn that it’s not what I expected it to be. Like Dorothy seeking to find the Wizard of Oz only to learn that there is no great wizard, I’m here in a puddle of disappointment.

Today I did have one very beautiful revelation however; the weapon of prayer. Rather than to run, move, jump, consume and create based on the temptations of desire. Perhaps the power is in prayer alone. God if this is good for me, give it to me. I don’t want to eat what the serpant feeds me. I want to take it to God and say, “I was told this is good for me, what do you say about that?”

I want the promise – the real one. There is a love that would lay his life down for me. I don’t want to be filled with anything less than that. So I pray tonight for wisdom from God to know what’s not this thing and to turn away from the vinegar that poisons the very passion of pursuing a promise I seek from the Lord.

/0 Comments/by

Love

I know he loves me. Perhaps I’m sad that he may never find that again the way he had it with me. When he’s in trouble, I’ve been the first person he calls. After the storms. After the surgery. He knows I pray for him and I cry for him and I write him letters that I’ll never send to him. He made a lot of mistakes and he caused me more pain than I could ever record in a jumble of words on a computer screen. But when this story is dead and gone and the lifetime we have lived is buried and forgotten, will any of it matter?

I love another and perhaps I’ve loved many others in unique and different ways. I love animals, babies and strangers too. So why should I not be able to admit to myself that I love him and wish nothing but the best for him? Why should I not forbid my lips to speak a sour word over his name or his actions of the past? Is love in it’s most powerful form not called forgiveness?

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please clear my heart of any anger, sadness or expectation. For so long I’ve been waiting for something to change. I’ve been waiting for reconciliation and healing – I’ve been waiting for apologies that never came. I just want to let it all go and give it to you. I want to commend them all into the hands of you my Father and forgive them once and for all. I want to wake up feeling peace instead of the pull to fix something or brace myself for the next blow. I ask you to remove me from the prisons that attack my thoughts and attack my brothers and sisters.

Help me to once again see that every person is a child of you. Everyone is loved by you – everyone is gifted the blood of Jesus, everyone is redeemable and every single one of these is deserving of love because you said so regardless of what I have against them. And so I want to see everyone covered by your blood. Washed clean.

I don’t want to be angry anymore or fearful of what might happen. I want to speak the words of wisdom and say to myself, “let them….” with my eyes on the sky looking towards you to be my source of love to meet all of my needs and wants as my forever friend that walks with me even if no one ever does again.

Help me build a life where I can be your love and not look to anyone else to make me whole. Be the one to wake me up each day and remind me that you love me. Be the one who cares about my thoughts, feelings and experiences. Be the one who gives me advice and helps me sort through all that I don’t understand. Be the one who tucks me into bed each night with peace and comfort surrounding me and in me too. Jesus be my constant friend who never leaves me nor foresakes me and be the joy of my heart and the song in my voice. Let my life and my words and my body be the evidence of who you are then, today and forever more. Clean out all the stones and unspot me from the world. Make me white and holy as you are holy without anything of the evil one in me.

Thank you Lord.

In Jesus name… Amen

/0 Comments/by

Mars & the Eclipse

,

This morning I was greeted by the woman at the hotel front desk as she asked, “Is your name Angel?” No, I answered – thinking nothing of it. I sat down in the lounge couch chairs next to two of my crew members and pulled out my phone to check flight information as the lobby speakers started playing the song, “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.” I felt my heart spark with the recognition of the familiar tune that was first introduced to me by David. It was a song I listened to often over the summer of 2022 after moving from Cali back to Texas. It’s as if the lyrics seemed to speak subliminally a story of his heart to mine in the spaces of unspoken separation and impossible connection.

Then loading up on the bus, the driver asked, “Are any of you named Angel?” He followed his question with a joke, “I told them that I’m the devil so I know the hand held device doesn’t belong to me.” Something about his remark struck a cord in me and prompted me to write it down. Two times the same phrase and then later in flight I heard it again in a message from a spiritual teacher who spoke about an “earth angel” who was surrounded by people who were perplexed and even jealous (not realizing such a thing) by the power within a certain person.

Moving on I watched other videos today about star alignments and the big new moon eclipse happening tonight. And the guy who sat next to me in the jumpseat kept making jokes about his name being “Mars”. Ironically that’s a big part of the planetary alignment and my sign is ruled by Mars. Then waiting to board the flight from Memphis through Atlanta onward to Cincinatti he sat next to me, looked me in the eyes and asked, “Do you feel the shift?” I smiled and said, “Yes, it’s good, right?” He smiled back and said, “Yes! It’s very very good.”

The funeral service of Charlie Kirk was held today and a public speaker told me on the phone a few minutes ago his thoughts about the evil of this event – saying that it’s spiritual and even the ones who commit the crimes realize it only after it’s too later. He made mention of the murderer appearing on film crying from prison. I hadn’t watched the news and knew nothing about it. However, this vision of what he was explaining certainly resonated with me. When something of this magnitude happens, the ones who believe begin to pray. And when people gather to light candles and pray, the Heavens pour out blessings upon the earth. Yes, there’s power in prayer and very bold power in numbers when we pray.

Tonight, i just want to pray and say thank you to God for answering our hearts. Thank you for turning the hearts of the children back to the father and thank you for the light that’s pouring out into the earth today. I ask for there to be more light and more love in the days to come. I ask for a revival of the likes this world has never seen. I pray for the lowly to be exalted and the proud to be taken down as your word says and as I’ve seen in many visions.

Thy kingdom come, they will be done. In the powerful name of Jesus – Yeshua…

Amen – Let it be done.

/0 Comments/by

Dream with Actresses

Last night I woke up at 7am to the sun peaking through a window without blackout curtains in the Hyatt of Downtown Tampa. I got up and felt awful, investigated the blinds an found a hidden layer with a black out plastic drop-down device and transformed my room into darkness again. There I laid with thoughts turning as I found my way back to sleep again and didn’t wake until nearly 1 in the afternoon. But on the second journey into sleep, I brought back a gift with me – a dream.

I was at a track-like field with few others there. And going in and out of the dressing/gym type rooms I ran into a few characters I recognized. They were famous actresses. I can’t remember now who they were by name but a shimmer of their faces remains in my subconscious thought. I remember feeling a bit surprised that they were there at the same event I’d been called to. We were there to run a race of some sort – to a do a type of event.

Then, in the back rooms I was going from room to room preparing for my race and in the first room I put on one of the women’s slippers that were far too big for my feet, tripped on the long toes and nearly fell face first out of the loft. One of the other women watched me from a doorway and asked, “Oh my gosh, are you ok?” Then I found my way to the bathroom to get my face ready and realized that my eyelashes were a huge mess. They were way too big for my face and had doubled up and twisted together. They were fake eyelashes I’d applied who knows how long ago.

Interestingly, yesterday on my flights I had an eyelash issue. I didn’t cut the little strips short enough and one of the inside pieces came unglued and was sticking out. I was embarrassed and visited the bathroom often trying to fix it with no success.

Trying to be someone I’m not is exhausting. And trying to figure out who I am and what God’s will is for my life is equally draining as I seem to be sifting through many rooms of memories and forthcoming ideas on a daily basis. I lean on my faith wondering if I was meant to share in a greater capacity the events of my past with others as a calling but on the night of 9/9 I received a very troubling dream of a woman named Melissa (I met her in this job) trying to kill me with a cult of murderers who were hunting me. They believed that I deserved death because I had taken a photo with her. She said in my dream, “Remember that time we took a photo and you stood in front of me?” Then she told me to hug my child goodbye in warning that they were about to devour me.

The people who have entered my life speaking the Christian messages have repeatedly tried to devour me in various ways. And yes, most of them attacked me for my physical appearance casting shame onto me for anything that could be considered beautiful or attractive in a physical sense. A woman who had become my very best friend through years of struggle later exited my life calling me a “harlot” for going on dates with a man after my husband shockingly divorced me. Shortly after I watched a sermon by a man named John Piper claiming that if a man divorces his wife, she is expected to stay single and pray for the marriage to be put back together or else she’s sinning. How would he know? Has even been divorced or had a spouse cheat and abandoned him? Who do these people think they are speaking for God and exercising power and authority to condemn the path and purpose of others from a self-made pedestal? How many souls have they misled?

I felt a spark of inspiration a few weeks ago when I attended an event at a place called Believe LA. Aisha Hinds was on a panel among others and she told her story about how 9/11 (a tragedy) made her seek to leave New York and go to LA following God’s inner voice. She hated it and cried everyday feeling out of place. She worked at a hotel, (not in movies) and it was in that space where God shifted everything in one single moment. A hotel guest asked if she “happened to be an actress” and then requested her headshot. Fast forward 24 years later she’s one of the biggest names in a show called 911. The irony of it all is no coincedence.

Today is 9/11. I’m in Tampa about to get dressed and fly to Austin where a dream of mine in a fictional book once took place. I don’t know why Austin is the city I chose to be the scene of Skyla’s story. I may never understand the little pieces of imagination that somehow have brought hope into my own dark night of the soul when I have wanted to quit and throw up my hands and just disappear into the nothing.

Today I feel the theme is to disconnect from everything (social media and the voices of others demanding my servitude or trying to direct my path in career or purpose) and to enter into the rest of Jesus. I feel he’s telling me through this dream that I don’t need to try to fit into another’s shoes or cover the windows of my soul with thick lashes but instead to just be me and let my light shine (in the eyes) as I interact with whoever he sends into my path. I feel God’s telling me that he will place me on the track he’s designed for me to walk and I’ll just arrive there – without fighting to find it myself.

There will be a moment orchestrated by God when I will be at the right place at the right time and the window of opportunity will be opened where I will know “This is what HE has done.”

This project from the beginning was about Surrendering to God’s will. At the crossroads I found myself standing in between two worlds – the life I created by my will and doing and a life that God wants to author where I don’t get to know what comes next or control the outcome. One world happens in the doing and the other happens in the receiving. Perhaps the reason I’m so exhausted in all areas of my life is because I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember. Stuck in survival mode since I was a child trying to run away from pain, prisons and various forms of abuse to find a place of peace where I might belong. But each decision I’ve ever had to make has been done in chaos and panic. I’ve been swimming upstream for so long (decades) and wearing so many different pairs of shoes I never got to pause and figure out which ones truly fit my feet.

So in this time I see why God is showing me so much. Dave not having a place for me to stay when I need it is protecting me from entering another relationship out of necessity. If it were God’s will it would’ve been perfectly aligned. And all the voices from Texas that reach out telling me “you need to come back – God wants you back here doing real estate” have come with no offer. They don’t have an open home for me to live in or a job for me to support myself – just a voice of opinion that places heavy weights of expectations on my shoulders with no solutions that back their speech. This is often the case though isn’t it? The ones who believe they have a connection with God tell everyone else what they should be doing and they never stop to ask about the sovereign puzzle pieces of PEACE that we are meant to seek to enter into his rest. Door close when God determines it’s time to close them. And another opens by His design to keep us on path to HIS WILL.

I don’t want to walk in anyone’s plans anymore. I want to see all things as obstacles and opinions that have no bearing unless God shines a light of confirmation and beauty into the thing with a spark of hope that sends my spirit into a connection of bliss and excitement.

As I conclude this entry I just want to say to myself that I’m happy I didn’t get all the things I’ve wanted. And although these journals may seem like a waste of time when the outside world screams louder and louder of all things it wants me to go to war with, I know this too will have a purpose in it all I’ll soon see. If only to reflect back upon and remind me of his presence in the paintbrush of here and there I’ll again rejoice that God’s will is perfect and beautiful.

Time will tell where this road leads. I commit to wearing the shoes God gave me to wear and to walk in peace knowing that he has already went before me and all things are working for my good and his Glory.

/0 Comments/by

Karmic Endings Trust God

Today I went to the beach and roller bladed down the boardwalk as I saw patterns before me. First 2 separate sets of women in pain over a break up. The homeless woman cried and screamed out “you motherf-er rapist son a…” The second woman wearing a brown dress like the one Julia Roberts had on at the horse outing was running full speed across the sand after a guy. She reached him screaming “Why did you leave me?” as he shrugged her off acting annoyed by her presence. Then I saw the win pick up as a bird heading out to sea turned around and took cover in a tree – followed by a man’s hat falling off of his head. I heard “hold onto your crown and don’t run against the wind.” This all was telling me to not fight what was happening right now and to let it go and let it flow. I also felt this was telling me to let people go who choose to go and I thought about David and Josh. They both wanted to go another direction and I can’t see it as a gift just yet but if God wanted them in my life they would be. So to think anything I’m losing is against God’s will is to not trust the divine paintbrush I founded this enter project on. I believe he’s the author of my story and I believe HIS will is the one I need to be aligned with. So…. Thy will be done.

I spent the next hour crying and journaling about this all with an emptiness and void inside begging God to please show me where to go next. I told him I let them go, I let them go, I let them go! But if they aren’t for me what is my purpose? What is my direction? Please show me the way!

I left the beach and took a suggested route in Google maps through Malibu that was supposed to save me time. However, I felt something was off from the very first turn into a thin road going upward and within 10 minutes realized I was not on a path often traveled. The steep slopes and twisting curves with no guard rails quickly had me on top of a very large mountain where the views were gorgeous but frightening as I wondered if the little car was sturdy enough to get me through alone. And then it happened,.. the sun hit my windshield at the perfect angel where the deep layer of sand and dirt completely blotted out my view just before reaching a sharp left turn. I held my breath and called out to God to help me. I couldn’t see a thing. When I was safe again, I found a place to pull over where I washed the windshield area on the drivers side. But I knew there was a reason for the detour – a deep spiritual one.

I’ve been climbing up a mountain for so long unsure of where I’m going or if I’ll make it home safely. I’m all alone on this journey and I can’t see what’s in front of me. I’m scared and often wonder if God still sees me and he’s still protecting me and guiding me. And he whispers “trust me”. This is when the spiritual eyes are made strong when our physical eyes can’t be of any help. I have to learn more and more to walk by the visions he gives me in trust that what he has shown me will come to pass. He has brought me here for a reason and he knows I’m tired and weary and sick of being alone on this uphill battle. He knows I’m surviving only each day by faith in him. And I’m waiting for the moment when I’m in a safe place and can pull over on the side of the road and be gifted my vision again to see what he’s doing all along – putting puzzle pieces into place. He takes some away that can’t fit anymore and in the moments where there’s a void it’s so hard. I feel naked and uncovered. But he is bringing other puzzle pieces that will fit perfectly.

One day soon I will be able to see it all. I will be amazed by his craftmanship. But tonight I only know God sent me, God goes with me and God is controlling all things for my good. I can’t see it yet but I trust him. I trust him. I trust him.

Tomorrow I lay over Tampa. Goodnight.

/0 Comments/by

Sacred Space Secrets

I don’t feel like I’m in alignment with anyone and I feel uneasy even writing truths in journals anymore. Pages get lost, that woman goes through my room and stuff, I have no true privacy and there’s nowhere to vent my thoughts without feeling like there will be consequences in some way.

To be honest, the book of Skyla scares me a bit. I wonder if it’s a blessing I never published it. It was scenes of something that gave me much joy in telling the story of a woman who lost everything and found another chapter in love and purpose. But now it seems like I’m telling on myself that I had a seed of this desire in me to write such a thing.

If I could write my story from the place I’m at now – alone and feeling out of place and with no one that I resognate with and no one who truly sees me, hears me or loves me, I’d walk out into the world tomorrow in this dark cloud I’ve been living in and be touched by an angel unexpectedly – the kind that wears a warm smile, strong arms and a curious depth in his eyes. He would say something to my soul without saying anything at all but with kind words and an invitation he’d ask for my number, invite me to do something fun and adventurous and the love would rapidly turn into my dream come true that leads me out of this captivity mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I would have a true heart to share in my burdens with me and help me to be a good mom and leader for my chidren. He’d gladly step into the role of a father of the fatherless and he’d never place blame or shame on my shoulders. He would love me as Jesus loves the church with compassion, empathy and true care as if my heart was his heart and vice versa. He’s welcome me into his life, his home and his dreams that we would share in as one accord to do something great on this planet. He would ask me questions, want to unravel every single piece of me that I’ve kept hidden away and he’d never get tired of hearing me speak or simply staring into my eyes. He’d hold my hand, hug me tightly and make me feel safe at all times. With him I’d feel at peace and know I’m home and I’d never have to wear a mask or monitor my words around him. He’d see my flaws as beautiful scars that are as valuable as my strengths. He’d honor me, protect me, place me on the pedestal of his heart and never allow me to question my worth in his life.

He would be as the man who brings living water to the woman drinking from empty wells and he’d make sure I never thirst for anything again or feel the need to seek validation out in this world. Yes, if I could write my story, I’d be rescued by this man tomorrow and I’d never cry another tear again. I’d call Dennis and Alice and say, “Oh my gosh you were right! As soon as I closed the door on David I was struck by Heaven and love entered my life. I found my life partner and my twin soul.”

This time next month I’d be trying on wedding dresses and looking at rings. I’d have a forever family in him and we’d bring Drako home to be with us. I wouldn’t care about Dave’s behavior as I’d see he was just a catalyst to get me out of Texas where I’d walk into this magical moment where love found me here. And I’d wish nothing but the best for everyone who played a role in my journey, knowing that each person I met was part of the broken road that led me to love – real love.

We would join together in our purpose and I’d understand why nothing seemed to click before we found eachother. I’d know that my foundation was right and set in God’s souvreign hand.

I’ve been waiting for this day for so long and I’d look back and know that every tear was worth it. My suffering won’t even be worth comparing to the Glory of God.

I speak what I want a lot. I pray all the time and even write letters to God. He answers when I pray for my kids. That’s the love connection. When I pray about David I never get my prayer answered. So tonight… I pray for the one I feel I’m missing but don’t know who it is.

I ask God to bring him and to let me hear from him. I ask for guidance and to be shown the way to our divine meeting. I ask for the voices of doubt to be silenced and the criticism of all who have come against me. I ask for the reminder from the Lord that I don’t have to heal myself, fix myself or try to change who I am to receive the free gifts that God has for me. This man will find me as I am and not judge me or require me to alter anything. His love will bring me back to life as the story is written and he’ll never put a job, friends, desires for this world or himself over me. He will see ma as the jewel he’s been searching his entire life to find – as the answer to all of his prayers and the soulmate he has forever longed for.

/0 Comments/by

Sandbox of Surrender

Back in 2018, I found myself at a place of rock bottom that had saturated into my soul. The weights of this world had become so heavy, I didn’t see a way to carry them anymore. I woke one day with a voice inside of me saying, “Make a sandbox.” It seemed like a silly idea and I dismissed it, only to find it would return over and over again in the following days. Out of annoyance more than anything, I decided to go to the hardware store and buy the wood and tools needed to make a little box. As I created, more insight came along. And before I knew it, I had an entire idea come to fruition of a box filled with sand, hosting a little slit suitable for letters to be inserted.

My “Sandbox of Surrender” gifted me a place to write letters to God in prayer for help in the things I didn’t know how to fix or keep worrying over. I no longer felt alone in my troubles because I had an outlet. I imagined this space as a sacred keeping of my deepest inner thoughts and to my surprise, I began to see change in my circumstances.

I later learned about a story in the Bible about a woman caught in adultery who was surrounded by a pack of wolves (people following the rules that declared her guilty of adultery and sentenced to death). Jesus, who is called the author and finisher of our faith and our stories, bent down and wrote in the sand. They tested him again to see if he would “break the law” of their bibles and defend this woman or sentence her to death. He stood and faced the crowd, then spoke, “If anyone is without sin, let him cast the first stone at her,” Then he bent down again and wrote in the sand a second time. One by one they let down their weapons as they were convicted in their own hearts and walked away to leave her in peace.

As many come against me (and all of us) through our walks here on earth, I am reminded of these sandboxes where I found a place to lay down my burdens and speak from my heart, “I need help.” Tonight, I feel that way about this project as it follows the original book I had published and sent off in hopes it might become a movie. It’s a true story and I know it could help someone out there who is facing great tragedy and trial in a hospital room, surrounded by doctors who speak problems, not hope.

“You have to take God out of it,” they all say. I even received an email from my roomate with a script submission request for a faith based film that has no divine encounters involved. She suggested I rewrite mine but if i did it wouldn’t be true. I don’t want to hold onto foolish pride or miss any opportunities because I wish to be right or prove a point. But on the other hand I don’t want to walk in lies just to please the masses.

With this project, my original idea was to call it “Sparks from Heaven.” She strongly advised me to change it because she said I make the show religious and that will turn many people away. I honestly don’t care what it’s called and I certainly don’t want to exclude anyone from being drawn to or impacted by the powerful and inspiring stories of those called here. I just want it to be truth – a chord of hope for others and for myself too. I need good news. I need to be reminded that sometimes broken is beautiful and pain can paint purpose.

/0 Comments/by

Thy Will Be Done

,

Tonight I lay down the pen because I don’t see any other way to move forward anymore. I will trust that whatever comes my way it’s God’s plan because I don’t ask for my own plan anympr

/0 Comments/by

She’s Not the Author

This was a long rant and recollection with a series of prayers that went unanswered on the following day as CJ’s son missed her flight. But it’s also a coming back moment to the purpose and storyline of Remember Skyla. CJ realizes that she’s at the place in the prophecy where she finds the new chapter to her life written by someone other than herself. She sees that her entire life up this point was built on struggle, heartbreak, trying her hardest and wishing for change that she tried to create by the work of her own hands. Now she must become the reader and receiver. Now she’s in the part where she finds this script from the author of LOVE who has included her as a character in his tomorrow. She gets to open up each word as a present and a moment of surprise and she doesn’t get to know what happens next. That’s the beauty of it all – she’s no longer in control. So she lets go.. she looks at the pages and she’s excited to see what happens next as the author reveals his masterful work in the rewriting of her second chapter of life.

/0 Comments/by

The Son & the Sand

The son returns after she collects sand for her new prayer box and joins hearts with her daughter.

This episode covers miracles, prayers answered and more trials in the month of June and into July for CJ who wrote the book about Skyla that’s buried in the sand as a prophecy of what would come of her life. CJ visits her daughter, they pray together and CJ collects sand for her prayer box after the story of the woman in the bible caught in adultery who has her story rewritten by Jesus Christ as they all leave her and condemn her no more. CJ returns to California to receive a shocking phone call at 2am from her son. He left Texas and drove straight to California. A mortgage man took her son in and have him a couch to sleep on. Meanwhile he wanted something from CJ in return – her talent, her creativity and her writing skills. He offered to pay her, made a deposit of $2,500 and then refused to complete the payment once her hours were calculated and the contracted work was completed. CJ’s son moved into the basement – gym room at her roomate’s place in LA. But everything went wrong for her son there. His income source wouldn’t work in door dash, he got his car towed on Independence Day and was very down. CJ’s daughter visited in July to encourage him and as soon as she left, he left too. Tamra called CJ on her trip to let her know the news that her son was gone. He’d packed up his things and went back to the mortgage man’s house, (her sworn enemy). As a turning of unforeseen events, CJ was left with no choice but to let go and let God. She writes from New Orleans on July 13th and receives an epiphany after the script is completed over the Hollywood sign that was burnt out on the night of the supermoon. She wondered if God was saying in this that HE was now writing the stories – not mankind. And that he had chosen CJ to be obedient in telling the truth and the whole truth of all that was onfolding in her reality. It’s not easy for a writer to get rid of the desire to wish for happy endngs and fluffy feel-good messages, especially when the script is speaking of her own real life. But CJ realizes that this muddy, tragic, and trial-stricken path she was walking was not her own creation to decipher. She must walk with faith and write the good, bad and ugly – overcoming her emotions as they are temporary. God is in this story. She knows it. She speaks it. She reports what happens.

/0 Comments/by